i love the idea of having a physical space for your phone in the house! it’s a tool! not a limb!
i’ve also attempted to limit my screentime by use of gray scales, do not disturb mode, etc. but even if i’m not looking at it, i’m carrying it around!!! and i end up using it more for that (more than i would if it wasn’t so accessible to me at all times).
i’ll definitely follow your advice in the most simple way, won’t buy any fancy phone sitter. i’ll just put it face down on the tv stand, far enough from reach, close enough to pick up if needed.
Now almost a month after writing, has the relationship been maintained? Would love to hear a follow up.
I tried a lot of stuff myself and found that once I saw my phone as a toy, I could really make a change that has been lasting (also for about a month now). Deleted all the "games" off my phone -- I didn't have actual games before, but anything like YouTube, Reddit, even the news, that could be something to scroll. Now my phone is a tool, and like a tool, if I don't need it, it's pretty obvious when to put it down. But still picking it up needlessly -- going to do more of leaving it in another room next.
Yes! I'm happy to say the wood block is still effective and has been the game-changer I needed. I do, however, think I need a good audio book solution. If I let my phone play a book, I have found my phone in my hand again once or twice. Thankfully, it was easy to course-correct and back on the block it went. (Maybe a bluetooth speaker would take care of this.)
I agree with your perspective of the device being a tool! I find it's easier to keep some semblance of order over technology when each device has a job. My desktop, for example, is for projects, learning, and emails (...and updating Substack!)
Bluetooth speaker/ earbuds are a gamechanger for audio anything. I love my airpods but they do have a limited range. I know some e-readers support audio books, good if you already have one but def not worth buying just for that.
The first thing to make me realize my brain was rewiring from needing constant stimulation during my phone detox was me realizing how I was able to work in silence with so much ease. I could drive to and from work, cook dinner, clean my entire house, with nothing but my own thoughts.
This is such a powerful reflection—and honestly, so validating. What you describe here mirrors what cognitive scientists have been sounding the alarm on: our devices aren't just tools, they're designed to hijack our dopaminergic reward systems—especially when we use them for even “wholesome” things like learning. The brain doesn’t always distinguish between junk and nutrient-dense content when it comes to stimulus overload.
The comparison to a parent-child relationship is so apt. Behavioral psychologists have studied how intermittent reinforcement (like surprise notifications or “just one more” autoplay videos) builds the same kind of compulsive checking behaviors seen in variable-ratio reward systems—like slot machines.
It’s not weakness. It’s wiring. And your solution—a designated “babysitter” stand—is brilliant in its simplicity. Just creating a physical boundary can reestablish cognitive control and reduce attentional residue. Loved this piece and the intentionality behind it. Here’s to making the world A Little Bit Kinder. 📵🧠💛
Agreed. I've solved the phone scrolling by leaving it in the morning where I left it charging overnight.
Now I really notice the lack of productivity if I have to bring it with me earlier in the day. It's like night and day between when it's nearby and when it's not.
I have a tray that operates like your block of wood. It’s my phone’s “home”. It’s definitely helping me with my screen time.
i love the idea of having a physical space for your phone in the house! it’s a tool! not a limb!
i’ve also attempted to limit my screentime by use of gray scales, do not disturb mode, etc. but even if i’m not looking at it, i’m carrying it around!!! and i end up using it more for that (more than i would if it wasn’t so accessible to me at all times).
i’ll definitely follow your advice in the most simple way, won’t buy any fancy phone sitter. i’ll just put it face down on the tv stand, far enough from reach, close enough to pick up if needed.
thank you for the simple yet insightful advice <3
Let me know how it goes!
My story. Word by word! I need a wooden stand phone-sitter!
Now almost a month after writing, has the relationship been maintained? Would love to hear a follow up.
I tried a lot of stuff myself and found that once I saw my phone as a toy, I could really make a change that has been lasting (also for about a month now). Deleted all the "games" off my phone -- I didn't have actual games before, but anything like YouTube, Reddit, even the news, that could be something to scroll. Now my phone is a tool, and like a tool, if I don't need it, it's pretty obvious when to put it down. But still picking it up needlessly -- going to do more of leaving it in another room next.
Yes! I'm happy to say the wood block is still effective and has been the game-changer I needed. I do, however, think I need a good audio book solution. If I let my phone play a book, I have found my phone in my hand again once or twice. Thankfully, it was easy to course-correct and back on the block it went. (Maybe a bluetooth speaker would take care of this.)
I agree with your perspective of the device being a tool! I find it's easier to keep some semblance of order over technology when each device has a job. My desktop, for example, is for projects, learning, and emails (...and updating Substack!)
Awesome it's still working! Go wood block go!
Bluetooth speaker/ earbuds are a gamechanger for audio anything. I love my airpods but they do have a limited range. I know some e-readers support audio books, good if you already have one but def not worth buying just for that.
Love this - I will do the same - I realise the phone has power over me and demands attention from me cobstantly - I need to retrain myself!
The first thing to make me realize my brain was rewiring from needing constant stimulation during my phone detox was me realizing how I was able to work in silence with so much ease. I could drive to and from work, cook dinner, clean my entire house, with nothing but my own thoughts.
This is such a powerful reflection—and honestly, so validating. What you describe here mirrors what cognitive scientists have been sounding the alarm on: our devices aren't just tools, they're designed to hijack our dopaminergic reward systems—especially when we use them for even “wholesome” things like learning. The brain doesn’t always distinguish between junk and nutrient-dense content when it comes to stimulus overload.
The comparison to a parent-child relationship is so apt. Behavioral psychologists have studied how intermittent reinforcement (like surprise notifications or “just one more” autoplay videos) builds the same kind of compulsive checking behaviors seen in variable-ratio reward systems—like slot machines.
It’s not weakness. It’s wiring. And your solution—a designated “babysitter” stand—is brilliant in its simplicity. Just creating a physical boundary can reestablish cognitive control and reduce attentional residue. Loved this piece and the intentionality behind it. Here’s to making the world A Little Bit Kinder. 📵🧠💛
Purchasing a block of wood now
Agreed. I've solved the phone scrolling by leaving it in the morning where I left it charging overnight.
Now I really notice the lack of productivity if I have to bring it with me earlier in the day. It's like night and day between when it's nearby and when it's not.
Now to solve for scrolling Notes on the laptop...
Hi Taylor. Loved your post. I will also get a babysitter for my phone.
"Is it really this simple? Yes. It is." I appreciate the directness.